do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
