i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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