I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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