After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
