Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
