i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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