he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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