I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
