some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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