when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
