hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
