I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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