End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
