Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
