Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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