i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
