I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
