I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
