I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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