turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
