I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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