I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
pray to the hookup gods
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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