i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So much rum. So many feels.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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