You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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