you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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