dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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