Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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