It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize