So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
