it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
