And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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