Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
