Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
