Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
