so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
