i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You pole danced in your parka.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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