All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We need to get me chipped asap
Never joke about your clitoris.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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