Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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