the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
