as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
