thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
