i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize