So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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