if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
