Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
