Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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