yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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