I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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