Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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