her vagine was all disorganized.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize