Need sex. Gaining weight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize