I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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