Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
