I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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