I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
