Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Small penises have feelings too.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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