TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
