Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
