How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
