So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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