I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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